Roadblock #2

I've hit yet another roadblock while writing this current story.

The big problem (I believe) is that I like to write the scenes that I like to write... and everything else just falls to the wayside. I recently just decided to skip the bits I didn't want to write (just put in a page break with a giant “TRANSITION HERE” notice for myself). And this does work better. But I still need to know what happens in those transition bits to be able to accurately write any of the scenes after it. Sometimes this can stall writing for a while until I figure out what happens in the transition (even if I don't write it all out).

(I have a major setback with my brain .. I often need to know seemingly insignificant details about a situation before I can understand what is going on and move on to whatever the important point is. To the point that I will obsess about that detail until I receive adequate information to understand it... This happens in many aspects of my life, not just writing. Drives my husband crazy. I'm working on it)

Add into that the vagueness of my characters and how I'm sometimes unsure how they would react to what's going on, and I've been staring at this same little scene for what seems like forever.

How would main character approach the scene? Quiet and watchful or demanding what has happened or guns blazing? How does secondary character react to the stress of the situation? Paranoid that his people have been compromised? Angry? Does he seek revenge? Does he just want to sort out the misunderstanding?

Such burning questions that really have a large impact on the direction and tone of the story. I suppose I'm back to talking to myself like a crazy lady to work through it.

Why Didn't Anybody Tell Me This? (Part 2)

Part 2 of 4

Pooping (yes, it gets its own category!)

• Don't be surprised if your baby isn't fussy when she needs a diaper change. C didn't fuss reliably when his diaper was full until a couple weeks ago. You should be able to tell when they need the change though(either the front/middle of the diaper swells massively, or there has been the sound of fireworks recently).

• Baby's first poop is that nasty, tarry meconium. You probably know this already. What everyone failed to mention (and I didn't realize) is that it may take a number of bowel movements to get all that out. C was still pooping meconium for a day or two after we left the hospital.. and we were in the hospital for the mandatory 48 hours after I gave birth.

• Be ready for your sweet, innocent baby to take a dump so big and explosive that it comes out the top of the diaper in both the front and the back... and then have her smile and coo at you. =]

• You may have a hard time eating mustard for a while.

Breastfeeding

• What you eat doesn't really affect your milk supply until you eat that one thing that really affects your milk supply. Let me explain. If you have a normal baby, it really doesn't matter too much what you eat. BUT if you eat something that happens to disagree with them (ie, spicy foods for C), get ready for it to have a huge effect on the baby. When I eat spicy foods, about 5-6 hours afterwards during that feed session, C will eat and then promptly spit it all up. But then he's hungry because he spit it all up, so he'll eat again. And then spit it all up again. This is frustrating for us both, since for him it's upsetting his system and for me because it ends up taking 3 or 4 hours for him to eat and keep down enough to be calm and able to go back to sleep. But the worst part is that even though it isn't such a drastic reaction after that, he is still a super fussy eater for a day or two after. Major suck!

• The line “Blinken! Fix your boobs; you look like a bleeding Picasso!” takes on a whole new meaning if you've recently nursed your baby. Nursing = saggy boobs. Nursing also leads to your nipples sticking out, a la “wow, it's really cold in here!”. As such, once you are done nursing and have strapped your boobs back in place, go check a mirror and make sure that your nipples are aligned. I've walked out the door, only to have D tell me that things are a bit.. perky, and one nipple is about an inch higher than the other.

• If you are having problems breastfeeding in the hospital and a nurse suggests putting sugar on your nipple/areola to get baby to latch and/or suck, just tell them no. It's important that your baby doesn't eat anything other than breast milk or formula. If they suggest that, what you can do instead is express some colostrum/milk yourself and let baby get a taste of that. If you aren't really sure how to express some yourself, ask the nurse. If the nurse doesn't really know how to do it, ask for someone else to help you, pronto, because that nurse doesn't know anything.

• What I've learned recently: If your baby suddenly pops off the breast and is fussy, but still trying to latch back on (and failing), there are two things to try. Burp them first. If that doesn't help, try switching breasts. It took me a while to figure out that those are the two main reasons for him to be fussy mid-feed sessions. The only other thing that he fusses for (at least, for now) is that he wants to suck, but doesn't want the milk. But that's easier for me to tell and is (I think) specific to C.

Shakespeare's Trollop by Charlaine Harris (Review!)

Just finished reading Shakespeare's Trollop by Charlaine Harris. This is the fourth book in the Lily Bard series. Actually, this is a reread for me, but the last time that I had read this series was more than a couple years ago and my memories of it were a bit foggy.

One thing that I love about the protagonist, Lily Bard, is that she isn't a happy-go-lucky-but-having-a-rough-patch stereotypical character. Her ordeal (revealed in depth in the first book of the series, but summarized in this book) fundamentally changed her outlook on life. As told by her, she is a completely different person now than she was before.

Tied in with that, I also love that this character grows and changes through the series. In the first book, I couldn't imagine her being in a healthy relationship with a man, but now she is and it works. The romance of this book is light as compared to the others, but I enjoyed that. It helped this feel more like a telling of the events of Lily's life – that there were romantic bits happening at the same time as the larger story, but they are not the main focus – instead of a “true” romance novel.

That being said, this book's main storyline, the murder of the town trollop was not compelling to me on a character driven level. I really didn't care for the character who had died, and the connection that Lily felt to the victim felt more than a little contrived (not that there wouldn't have been a true connection, just that I don't think Ms Harris dealt with this aspect very well). But the mystery angle of this novel, the twists and turns as Lily investigates the murder in her own way are very compelling. I am truly in awe of Ms. Harris' ability to write a believable mystery with unobtrusive clues left along the way. This is one of few mysteries that I have read that I just could not guess the ending. All the clues are there from the beginning, but it takes a mastermind to be able to piece it together by the end. Even Lily didn't figure out the identity of the murderer, instead stumbling onto it during the course of her investigation (thereby making the book and her character much more believable in my mind).

On the negative side, the secondary characters don't have any kind of strong development in this book. Even though there were big events (including a wedding!), these seemed to be almost throwaway bits to the storyline, added only to help us feel that life in Shakespeare continues to move forward. Apart from one scene with Bobo, these events don't even seem to have much impact upon Lily.

The writing itself is typical of Ms. Harris – done well. No typos that I noticed. Her sentence structure is clean and her word choices are geared more towards a large audience. She is not overly descriptive, instead choosing to focus more on the action. There is still enough there to picture everything that happens, but don't expect florid passages about how the trees looked against the moonlight.

Overall, definitely a good read. Strong mystery storyline, light touch to the romantic storyline. The only drawback is the minimal character development of the secondary characters.

Recommendation: Definitely read if you like a good mystery. The short length makes it a great choice for a long plane ride or for an evening or two of snuggling on the couch.

Prerequisites: While it could conceivably stand alone, you miss too much of the development of the main character. There are three previous books to the series, here, here and here.

Why Didn't Anybody Tell Me This? (Part 1)

This is a list of some things that I wish someone had told me about and tips I wish I had followed for the end of pregnancy, labor and delivery and those first couple months of caring for a newborn.

There will be multiple posts for this list, and today focuses on pregnancy, labor & delivery and right after the birth.

Pregnancy/Labor&Delivery:

• Completely pack your freezer with leftovers and pre-prepared dinners. This is one of those things that is commonly touted as a good idea, but I really didn't understand just HOW good of an idea it is... and how quickly you can run through what you've prepared. It just makes things so much easier. You're going to have more days than you like where you it gets to be dinner time and you either really don't want to or can't make something for dinner. This just lets you avoid having to go out (unless you want to, of course) and you're still eating nutritiously.

• I didn't fully believe everyone else who said they lost all modesty when they went into labor.. but now I do. I could have been butt naked in that delivery room with everyone in the hospital filing past to have a look at my parts and I don't think I would have cared. You're just focusing so hard on getting that baby out that you don't notice too much else unless it directly affects you. And your body knows that clothing will impede the delivery of your baby... so you may find yourself stripping down in your delivery room.

• If you want to go all natural, make sure that you and your partner go to a lamaze class or something. It's helpful information for everyone (or so I'm told...), but definitely if you want to go all natural. I say this because you need to give your partner some tools for being able to help you in that labor room (.. assuming you want them there, of course). Here's the deal. Everyone already knows that childbirth is amazingly painful. Well, you're going to have to deal with that pain regularly for multiple hours. Whoever is in there withy you will be able to tell that you are in horrific pain from the facial expressions and the screaming (if you scream) and if they love you, all they'll want to do is make that pain go away. Lamaze and other such things gives them things that they can do to feel like they are helping you (even if it doesn't actually end up being all that helpful to you).

In essence, don't do what we did. I went all natural and D had no tools. I was screaming bloody murder until the point that I was allowed to push and all he could do was stand there, feeling utterly helpless. That is, quite possibly, the only thing I would have done differently about the whole experience.

• Even if you have specified that you would like to spontaneously push, you may have a nurse in there counting off through your contractions. Don't feel as if you need to follow them if you don't want to. I had one of those nurses and I pretty much just ignored her (and I encourage everyone to spontaneously push – less chance of tearing, though it may take a tiny bit longer to give birth).

• Another thing that they may or may not tell you until you're giving birth: you have to keep your legs wide open between contractions. This will end up being super uncomfortable, even with the stirrups out, even with someone holding up your legs, even with you holding up your own legs. Be prepared for it and just DON'T close your legs!

• Once you are at the point of labor where they want you to push, try not to scream. If you're screaming, you're not actually pushing. You may need someone to (gently) remind you of this fact.

• After birth, the nurses will be very concerned with how often you go to the bathroom. You won't reliably be able to tell if you have to pee or not for a while, but if your bladder is full, it will push the uterus off to the side. You don't really want that. They usually recommend hitting the bathroom every hour while your awake and just going.

• The first time you poop after delivery may be a somewhat traumatic experience. You just pushed a sack of potatoes out of your vag and, at least psychologically, most people can't handle doing anything similar to that any time soon. The second part of that is that you use the same muscles to birth a baby as you do to poop... and those muscles just got overworked to the extreme. They may not respond well to you asking them to push again. It doesn't have to be completely terrible though. Just take as much time as you need and relax. It'll also help if you start taking a stool softener while you are still pregnant and as you get closer to your due date. It'll probably help anyway, since it's highly likely that you'll already be constipated (sorry).

• Don't freak out when you hit the bathroom the first time after giving birth and it looks like a crime scene in your underwear. Yes, it is a lot of blood, but it's okay.. you have a lot of blood to lose without it being a major problem. As long as you aren't bleeding more than your doctor recommends, you're fine.

• Along that vein – be prepared to freak out at the size of the clots that come out. As long as they are smaller than a golf ball, it isn't cause for concern.. but this is about the time that you understand just how big a golf ball is.

• One of the most important bits of knowledge came from my mother: You may not love your child right away. Women talk about that “instant bond when I looked in my baby's eyes, blah blah blah” and I just look at them like they're an alien. That did not happen with me (or my mom, apparently). I love C don't get me wrong, but it wasnt instant. And we're still working on it. And really, that's okay.

Paper Back Swap

This is a quick shout out to one of my (new) favorite sites: paperbackswap.com

Any avid readers out there who need (or want) to get rid of some of your books will definitely want to check this site out.

The process is simple: Post any of your unwanted books on the site. Other members request them from you. You send it to them (paying the postage, which is normally around $2). They mark that it's been received and you get a credit. You turn around and use that credit to request a book from another member. They pay to ship it to you and you get a new (to you) book.

So, you get to give away books to people that you know want them and in return get to receive books without having to buy them.

I love this site!

Hiatus

So, after a long hiatus, I'm back.

Among other things, there will be more book reviews, some discussion of the writing process and my new life as a mother.

Also, going up soon will be a list that I've made for a friend entitled "Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me This??", all about those things in pregnancy/labor & delivery/caring for a newborn that I really wish someone had just told me about. Forewarning: I'm a blunt person, and as such, the list will be too.

Here's to a new start!