This is a list of some things that I wish someone had told me about and tips I wish I had followed for the end of pregnancy, labor and delivery and those first couple months of caring for a newborn.
There will be multiple posts for this list, and today focuses on pregnancy, labor & delivery and right after the birth.
Pregnancy/Labor&Delivery:
Completely pack your freezer with leftovers and pre-prepared dinners. This is one of those things that is commonly touted as a good idea, but I really didn't understand just HOW good of an idea it is... and how quickly you can run through what you've prepared. It just makes things so much easier. You're going to have more days than you like where you it gets to be dinner time and you either really don't want to or can't make something for dinner. This just lets you avoid having to go out (unless you want to, of course) and you're still eating nutritiously.
I didn't fully believe everyone else who said they lost all modesty when they went into labor.. but now I do. I could have been butt naked in that delivery room with everyone in the hospital filing past to have a look at my parts and I don't think I would have cared. You're just focusing so hard on getting that baby out that you don't notice too much else unless it directly affects you. And your body knows that clothing will impede the delivery of your baby... so you may find yourself stripping down in your delivery room.
If you want to go all natural, make sure that you and your partner go to a lamaze class or something. It's helpful information for everyone (or so I'm told...), but definitely if you want to go all natural. I say this because you need to give your partner some tools for being able to help you in that labor room (.. assuming you want them there, of course). Here's the deal. Everyone already knows that childbirth is amazingly painful. Well, you're going to have to deal with that pain regularly for multiple hours. Whoever is in there withy you will be able to tell that you are in horrific pain from the facial expressions and the screaming (if you scream) and if they love you, all they'll want to do is make that pain go away. Lamaze and other such things gives them things that they can do to feel like they are helping you (even if it doesn't actually end up being all that helpful to you).
In essence, don't do what we did. I went all natural and D had no tools. I was screaming bloody murder until the point that I was allowed to push and all he could do was stand there, feeling utterly helpless. That is, quite possibly, the only thing I would have done differently about the whole experience.
Even if you have specified that you would like to spontaneously push, you may have a nurse in there counting off through your contractions. Don't feel as if you need to follow them if you don't want to. I had one of those nurses and I pretty much just ignored her (and I encourage everyone to spontaneously push – less chance of tearing, though it may take a tiny bit longer to give birth).
Another thing that they may or may not tell you until you're giving birth: you have to keep your legs wide open between contractions. This will end up being super uncomfortable, even with the stirrups out, even with someone holding up your legs, even with you holding up your own legs. Be prepared for it and just DON'T close your legs!
Once you are at the point of labor where they want you to push, try not to scream. If you're screaming, you're not actually pushing. You may need someone to (gently) remind you of this fact.
After birth, the nurses will be very concerned with how often you go to the bathroom. You won't reliably be able to tell if you have to pee or not for a while, but if your bladder is full, it will push the uterus off to the side. You don't really want that. They usually recommend hitting the bathroom every hour while your awake and just going.
The first time you poop after delivery may be a somewhat traumatic experience. You just pushed a sack of potatoes out of your vag and, at least psychologically, most people can't handle doing anything similar to that any time soon. The second part of that is that you use the same muscles to birth a baby as you do to poop... and those muscles just got overworked to the extreme. They may not respond well to you asking them to push again. It doesn't have to be completely terrible though. Just take as much time as you need and relax. It'll also help if you start taking a stool softener while you are still pregnant and as you get closer to your due date. It'll probably help anyway, since it's highly likely that you'll already be constipated (sorry).
Don't freak out when you hit the bathroom the first time after giving birth and it looks like a crime scene in your underwear. Yes, it is a lot of blood, but it's okay.. you have a lot of blood to lose without it being a major problem. As long as you aren't bleeding more than your doctor recommends, you're fine.
Along that vein – be prepared to freak out at the size of the clots that come out. As long as they are smaller than a golf ball, it isn't cause for concern.. but this is about the time that you understand just how big a golf ball is.
One of the most important bits of knowledge came from my mother: You may not love your child right away. Women talk about that “instant bond when I looked in my baby's eyes, blah blah blah” and I just look at them like they're an alien. That did not happen with me (or my mom, apparently). I love C don't get me wrong, but it wasnt instant. And we're still working on it. And really, that's okay.
